The Poppies Womb

I don’t have, A bed of roses I gave mine up, So long ago I don’t have a bed of roses I sleep but where The sun shines brief And moon throws daggers in the air But I won’t care In my poppy woven womb There was a time I slept like thee On that bed, painful yet sweet Pain and pleasure Can be clearly seen With thorns, perfectly clear Painful and near, Physical, predicable And yet, despicable Those gashing thorns The beauty too, the joy Unmistakable, unmisplacable, defaceable Constant in its gain No evil will it take, No sorrow can it make Just bouncing joy However brief) No fool mistakes it for the thorn I slept in that bed for a time So long ago, it seems) But I found, No pedals to hold, No flowers would bloom Thorns abound All around In dark despair At my lack (Lo! Of vision!) Of peace among the thorns I found another flower Devoid of point an thorn As beautiful, no more,(and No more!) Than the roes, Which I could see no more I found it in a rapture It wrapped me in its womb An untainted, untouchable pasture Where I could watch the world fall faster Never caring, sharing, in it’s doom I fell into, This thornless flower Unblemished bud Fell into its arms Fell to my knees Fell for its charms For it’s fruit That gave me All I could need— Unsharing! Uncaring! Unthinking! At ease! Give me more, If you’d please As I slept Inside it’s womb however As I grew more aware And accustomed to My eyes began to open And my mind began to see The vile blanket It had wrapped, surrounding me Paved with trash of the living Scented with the remains of the dead Walled by insect built cities Mauled by destruction, By the those who wanted it's (former) peace On seeing this grave dysfunction I retreated further still Into the womb, once so safe so sweet But as we all know The a reluctant birth Always ends in defeat Time won’t cheated Death isn’t cheap The devil digs your pockets deep The flowers will take their due Ten fold for what they gave to you You took from them, Now they’ll devour you While you wait patently For just another taste Of their now, so feeling brew You’ll wait with out promise Wait in despair As they tear at your heart Devour your mind And shatter your soul You’ll beg for caress While she excavates you You’ll withstand a painful duress, So He’ll violate you! You can not expcape it Though you surly can run You can not remake it Their work is done You can not replace it, They are all, and all are one All you can do, All you’ll go through On the run Is bide your time While their still in thine eye (Are thine eyes!) Till you’re world is done …………………… Parlay any one?

Popcorn

Sweet and dull Yet unmistakable How such a simple sent, Can make me so recall, I do not know But I recall the theaters of youth Why should a cinema bring me to this? I hear the laughs of adolescent girls The sneer and glee The dreams of what is, Attractions to what ot’ a be Playing it cool, Searching for meaning with out meaning to! The confusion of young movie dates The two sides, Opposite in thought But in action they are one How the fuck can that work? People so confused Granted they be young But, as they grow They learn new shit in which to muse I see so many things, In this simple thing Faces from my past People I’ve known Faces I’ve seen Hearts I’ve seen broken And mended again (and again) What is the worst, That this might be, All of humanities curse All of lives, wandering round Doing our best, to keep thought on the ground Screaming for what we want at the top of our lungs And Always sing the same old song All ways getting the same old wrong ………………………… Never knowing It’s all our wrong

Eulogy of the Flame

At the last the candle spoke As the flame shuddered, died Its tale was a sad one As all are when one dies It spoke of early years Of the reclusive and secure Of fantasies of valor and pride, Of foolish hopes, and happy skies It told of teenage years, Which for it were sure not drear Of games played in circles, Of fuck, tag, and lash “Certainty and love unmatched!” The flame spoke of mild times, Middle aged, middle lives Marriage and kids Work and money The whole world, Never feeling, Never funny Alas, alas there came the later years With all the world steeped in gray The flame grew weary, Uncaring for the night and day At his death, The flame had only one regret, (A one, A One, infinity!) In all his time, He new not once, More than his meager eyes …………………………… The dead do not requiem, Nor need they to repine For all is clear Now in their eyes

The Misery Mistress

You seduce with the promise, Of easing this emptiness Which you so tactically crated I’m searching far For away to fill the void, And like a good mistress You feign to answer my needs Ungainly temptress Who can ill be defeat Your promise of pleasure, Is but a seconds reprieve The magic doesn't work no more, The angels have gone. All that's left, is the fleeting release The moment's indifference When I feed your ill omened need You’re a million a muse, A curse of my own, Your cost is my life, My pay is your fruit Fruit at the first, So sweet, and divine Orgasm sublime But your fruits they weigh heavy On the body and soul, Every taste, becomes less and less sweet, And I only gain craving For that taste once so sweet Your fruit it is tainted, A devil's contract is due No demons are needed For a Faust of your own To come true We’ve sole our souls now, And there’s nothing to do It’s time to stop dying For no living we do Your fruit sits before me, As sharp biting whiskey, And sour grape wine For others it’s poppies, For some it’s the body, For others the mind What ever your poison, What ever your time There is a way out In some place, In some time ………………. Some other place Some other time

"Thirst!" From Diary Of a Drug Fiend By Aliester Crowley

Thirst! Not the thirst of the throat Though that be the wildest and worst Of physical pangs--- that smote Alone to the heart of Christ Wring the one wild cry “I thirst!“ from his agony, While the soldiers drank and diced: Not the thirst benign That calls the worker to wine; Not the bodily thirst (Though that be frenzy accursed) When the mouth is full of sand, And the eyes are gummed up, and the ears Trick the soul ‘till it hears Water, water at hand, When a man will dig his nails In his breast, and drink the blood Already that clots and stales Ere his tongue can tip its flood, When the sun is a living devil, Vomiting vats of evil And the moon and the night but mock The wretch on his barren rock, And the dome of heaven high-arched Like his mouth is arid and parched And the caves of his heart high-spanned Are choked with alkali sand! Not this ! But a thirst uncharted ; Body and soul alike Traitors turned black-hearted Seeking a place to strike In a victim already attuned To one vast chord of wound; Every separate bone Cold ,an incarnate groan Distilled from the icy sperm Of hell’s implacable worm; Every drop of the river Of blood aflame and a-quiver With poison secret and sour- With a sudden twitch at the last Like certain jagged daggers (With bloodshot eyes dull-glassed The screaming Malay staggers Through his village aghast). So blood wrenches its pain Sardonic through the heart and brain. Every separate nerve Awake and alert, on a curve Whose asymptote’s name is “never” In a hyperbolic “for ever!” A bitten and burning snake Striking it’s venom within it, As if it might serve to slake The pain for the tithe of a minute. Awake, for ever awake! Awake as one never is While sleep is a possible end, Awake in the void, the abyss Whose thirst is an echo of this That martyrs, world without end (World without end, Amen!) The man that falters and yields For the proverb’s “month and an hour : To the lure of the snow-starred fields Where the opium poppy’s aflower. Only the prick of a needle, Charged from a wizard well! Is this sufficient to wheedle A soul from heaven to hell? Was man’s spirit weaned from fear of it’s ghosts and gods To fawn at the feet of a fiend? Is it such terrible odds--- The heir of ages of wonder, The crown of earth for an hour, The master of tide and thunder Against the juice of a flower? Ay! In the roar and the rattle Of all the armies of sin, This is the only battle He never was know to win. Slave to the thirst--not thirst As it is here weakly written, Not thirst in the brain black-bitten, In the soul more sorely smitten! One dare not think of the wildest and worst! Beyond the raging and raving Hell of the physical craving Lies, in the brain benumbed, At the end of time and space, An abyss, unmeasured, unplumbed--- The haunt of a face! She it is, she, that found me In the Morphia honeymoon; With silk and steel she bound me, In her poisonous milk she drowned me, Even now her arms surround me, Stifling me into the soon That still--but oh, how rarely!-- Comes at the thrust of the needle, Steadily stares and squarely, Nor needs to fondle and wheedle Her slave agasp for a kiss Hers whose horror is his That knows that viper womb, Speckled and barred with black On it’s rusty amber scales, Is his tomb-- The straining, groaning, rack On which he wails--he wails! Her Cranial dome is vaulted, Her mad Mongolian eyes Aslant with the ecstasies Of things immune, exalted Far beyond the stars and skies, Slits of amber and jet-- Her snout for the quarry set Fleshy and heavy and gross, Bestial, broken across, And below it her mouth that drips Blood from the lips That hide the fangs of a snake, Drips on venomous udders Mountainous flanks that fret, And the spirit sickens and shudders At the hint of a worse thing yet. Olya! The golden bait Barbed with infinite pain, Fatal, fanatical mate Of a poisoned body and brain! Olya, the name that leers It’s lecherous longing and knavery, Whispering in crazing ears The secret spell of her slavery. Horror indeed intense, Seduction ever intenser, Swinging the smoke of sense From the bowl of a smoldering censer! Behind me, behind and above, She stands, that mirror of love. Her fingers are supple-jointed, Her nails are polished and pointed, And tipped with spurs of gold: With them she rowels the brain. Her lust is critical cold; And her Chinese cheeks are pale, As she daintily picks, profane With her octopus lips, and the teeth Jagged and black beneath, Pulp and blood from a nail. One swift prick was enough In days gone by to invoke her She was incarnate love In the hours when I first awoke her. Little by little I found The truth of her, stripped of clothing, Bitter beyond all bounds, Leprous beyond all loathing. Black the plague of the pit, Her pustules visibly fester, Cancerous kisses that bit As the asp caressed her. Dragon of lure and dread, Tiger of fury and lust, The quick in chains to the dead, The slime alive in the dust, Brazen shame like a flame, An orgy of pregnant pollution With hate beyond aim or name-- Orgasm, death, dissolution! Know you now why her eyes So fearfully glaze, beholding Terrors and infamies Like filthy flowers unfolding? Laughter widowed of ease, Agony barred from sadness, Death defeated of peace, Is she not madness? She waits for me, lazily leering As moon goes murdering moon The moon of her triumph is nearing; She will have me wholly soon. ………………………………........... And you, you puritan others, Who have missed the Morphia craving, Cry scorn if I call you brothers, Curl lip at my maniac raving, Fools, seven times beguiled, You have not known her? Well! There was never a need she smiled To harry you into hell Morphia is but one Spark of its secular fire. She is the single sun-- Type of all desire! All the you would, you are-- And that is the crown of a craving. You are slaves of the wormwood star. Analyzed, reason is raving. Feeling, examined, is pain. What heaven were to hope for a doubt of it! Life is anguish, insane; And death is--- not a way out of it!

Moonshine dance

Lo’, now, we walk the night, Hearts a pumping, Never fright, Stimulated, beyond stimulus, Right now, it’s all right, Hope is less, now is more The world is cool, Bathed in sleep, The voices around us are silenced, We can relax and forget The extrospective rays are gone, We can feed our introspectual minds It’s all fine now, No need, no fear, No stress, no tears, Just relaxed, In our quite moonshine dance

A Lie, A wrong

I’m sorry, I made a mistake, I’m sorry, I was wrong, I’m sorry, If I, Made you mad, I’m very sorry, If I made you sad I was wrong, I made a mistake, That is all, Please, don’t hold it against me, Please, I’m begging, On my knees, I was wrong, That’s all, Don’t hold that against me, Please, don’t hate me, Don’t make me feel bad, I’m really sorry, If I made you sad This all seems, Like it’s so mistaken, So unreal, wrong …………………… A lie

Hand of Fate (Goodbye for now -----)

The hand of fate can gently nudge, Hardly push you in the right direction Taking time, biding, wait Takes so long, To meet your fate But that hand, Can also slap you in the face, Screaming at you, Telling your fate It’s easier that way Time may show, A different rout, But now it’s my time, To fade away ………… From you

Hold Too Soon

Could I ever hold, You, under the light of the moon? Could our hearts ever mould, Our would all of this, be too soon? Maybe I, just shouldn’t ask, Maybe I, should just do, And hold your hands in a tight clasp, For all of this, is so new. So new, yet old, Known forever, But never told Still, we’ll forget but never! Is it my fault, for loving you? Or your for being so true?

To ----

The next time I see you, I swear, I’m going to kiss you, The next time that we're alone, I swear, I’m going to kiss you, Forget everything, I swear, And I’m just going to kiss you, Without a reason, without a cause, And probably without the right, I swear next time I see, I’m going to kiss you, Whether or not It’s right …………………… I really hope, That you don’t mind

Has It Only Been?

Has it only been an hour, Since I last talked to you? Has it only been a day, Since our eye’s last met? Has it only been a month, That I’ve been dreaming of you? Has it only been a year, Since we met? And has there been a minute, Since then, That my heart has not ached, When your not, In my arms, in my hands ………………… Forever heart ache, Forever love

The Watcher and the Poet

[Poet] “I can ease your troubled mind. I can help you save your time. I can help you till the end. I can help you see again…” [Watcher) "but can I hold you, till the end?" [Poet] “Until the day is over and our troubles gone; Just hold me. We’ll forget everything and still live on. Just hold me. Live in peace where love is love and you are you. Just hold me. Just together, you and me, nothing to do. Just hold me. [Watcher]"I'll hold you now, Forever more!" [Poet] “Forever is not long enough…” [Watcher] “But would it not, be a start!” [Poet] “The start of everything that means but anything..” [Watcher] “And the end, of all, that does not!’ [Poet] “For everything, that's anything, is here , with us!” [Watcher] “You are, everything my dear, You are the sun, the moon.” [Poet] “And You are, but more, than love. Profane and still, I need You.” [Watcher] “I am profane! But who now speaks! Quaff O' Quaff, forget and let me hold you in a tight embrace.” [Poet] “And I will forget everything but you; you are everything now.” [Watcher] Everything, everything! Words are weak, there impact meek, let us simple sit here, we may kiss or we may weep! Through sorrow or salvation, we will have each other.” [Poet] “For forever, and longer. No more words, just hold each other.” [Watcher] In our lives, we will struggle no longer; throw off the bounds, and simply be there with each other!” [Watcher and The Poet] “Let this be now at an end, and simply hold.” [Watcher] “In silence forever…” [Poet] “And more.

Odd Life (Ode to Fate)

It’s a strange world, I live in now, It’s a strange life I lead, It’s a strange path I follow, Odd, so odd, Strange, even for me I’m bound, By my own chains, I’m entwined and surrounded, By choices I have to choose not to make I live, I fall, For fate Forget me, I can be not but a guru, Of untold things ……………….. Better left forgotten, …It’s not true, But I cant teach

Built to end, Made to sorrow, I’m sorry, It had to be this way, Built for sorrow Destined to end, For I can never follow, I’m sorry, I had, It has, to be so sad But that’s the way, The sight, you see? It’s our endless sorrow Learned by heart break, Shown by love, You must grow detached, To me my love Let our words be said, For in time, They will be dead… Before we are dead,

The Mind of Man

Burning, chaos at the core, Like a sun, a star, Shining on a desert waste. A tide that swears to love, But floods with hate They turn in revel, These stars of destruction, Pain, with out gain, Is there singular function, No purpose in peace, For these machines of the soul, No calm night reprieve, For the demons of fire, They burn with their passions, Chilled at the soul, Both parts in angst, Will murder us all, …………………….. The mind of man (No more, no more)

Looks; Never to Be

You look at me, I look at you, You look away, I look at you, You look at me, My eyes stray away You look at me, Thinking, “No, no, Never for me!” I look at you, “Alas, alas, Can never be!” I look for you, You search me, I love you, You can’t help But think of me, Your eyes speak of pain, For body of doubt, If only I, Could just, (this once) Release all my bounds Why can’t it be? Or, even more, Can it, truly be? ………………. Woe! No more, Please, O’ please, Just let us run free

Awake in the Moonlight

I awake in the moonlight And die at the dawn I run like a god till' the goddess is gone I swim through the ocean, Of a starlight deluge, Flounder and drowned, In a daytime typhoon ‘Float upon whispers, Of hushed midnight voices, Beaten to death, By noontime deep voices I love, I live, For the moonlight’s sweet dawn I hate, And I die, Beneath the tyrannous sun …………… We’ll awake in the moonlight, And hide in the sun

Smile for you

I’ll smile for you, I’ll laugh for you, Though it’s not, Something that I, Would normally do, Because it means so much to you, I’ll always smile for you

Throes alive

Lost in the throes of love, Lost in your beaming, And beautiful face, Love in the waves of my soul a flutter, Lost in this mirror Of the night and the day The move of a tress, The blink of her eye, The sounds from her lips, Leave me smiling, smiling wide, And O’ ner’ ever, ‘Leave wondering why There is no other beauty, There are no other souls, No other ones who’s eyes Beam right through me, No other, who, is anything to me, Alive for my goddesses biding Forever alive, in the throws of love, Forever despaired, in the throes of love, Forever, alive, for the throes of love, Forever, I die, for the throes of love, ……………………………….... May you, never extinguish May you, never be gone, Goodbye, goodbye, Beloved one

Won’t the sun go down?

Why wont the sun go down? Does it have to stay and hover now? Why wont the sun go down? Must it persist , to play this boring game? Why wont the sun go down? Will always I have to wait and wait? Please let the sun go down. Let the ball of flame, Incandescent, overpowered shame, Who’s tendrils creep, Who’s weeping, seeping, rays, Keeps all the plant’s a chatter, And all the people awake, Why wont the sun go down? Please let the sun go down. I’m Impatient So Impatient But would not also be, Anxious for your chance to see? Please let the sun go down, Make the tyrant, Give up his crown ……………………………… At last, at last The sun is down