What Makes?

Who am I?

As as an individual?

Am I all the things I say,

The little bits of kindness I take from others away

I am happy,

For what ever

That is worth

I don't think I've lost my self,

I don't know what I'd had to loose

Is life, something we choose?

Are we, am I,

The books, and words and poetry

Rhyme lie line time

Do were bear the face of clockwork mimes?

Corporate consumerism, rabid individualism

Lust love money fame

Again and over and over

One minute, one second,

Addicts, over and over again

If we are what eat,

Then eat our selves,

Do I dream when I sleep,

or is that me, finely showing true

Do actions dictate who we are,

Fuck, and kill, rob and gain

All the things that will remain

Am I my meager poetry?

My limited language of words?

Am I that eccentric philosopher

that rants in my head,

Wishing and that

The dead

Am I my love,

My belching puling heart,

My love, my broken hope,

Desire disease

Thoughts sins, crimes or deeds?

Am I my face,

A shroud, or scowl,

Of scorn I wear

Or all these things,

Just what other,

Nay, all compare?

...................................

I am what lurks beneath

I am not all these things,

But none

These are the symptoms,

The sings and the condition

Of me, the me, only I know

and other, all together can only

Say and acknowledge to see

I am my soul, not it's rooms

I am that house, that houses the tombs

We are, the cumulation of our lives,

No action or deed,

No mater the crimes

Boundless, defined only by name,

Like the universe,

Of our own, bleakness or fame

I am...

ME

Quicksilver

I’m vomiting mercury Shining in my eyes Poison silver so enchanting Memories disguised Nausea pain, Like nostalgia Love The best and worst Are one again Quick silver mixed with blood The sulfur stew unwatched forgot Pain is coming back again Loving pictures Come in floods Springs of youth Of cold nights and lovely stars Young love and heat Broken hearts and gloated lies Pride It comes in waves As I regurgitate in tides These memories Of heaven and hell Ambivalent feeling, Both pain and purge But time goes by Though ‘Strange to think That I go with it Now time is A stetting day, A birthing a new sun A star Coming up from out the clouds so vast and I, Stand up to face, A clean pane of glass The mercury is on the ground, Commingled with my blood, The pain and beauty, And oh the loves gone by Have been cleansed, A chapter so far done Reborn I face the world The memories all gone …………………… But in the end, It all must come again… Full circle For mine’s a path That’s never done

Sad Gate to Heaven

Sun sets and I sit tense. Mind wandering through my offence Did it happen? When, what, I? Uneasy fear Knowledge, doubt Inevitability of a change about No, not change. Not in any way I know, Change is pure and full This is decention From what? From what? What the fuck do we like here so much anyway? Happiness Hopeless Fuck it Why? You like it here Do I? You stay But I’d rather have it another way Leave Fuck you I’m caught between two worlds, Mind moving all around A bloody knife, a bloody day Spins my head around Damned Stress is a fickle thing, Its source can be relive by distraction But only for a little fraction Time I need out, I’m finished, ruined here I stayed because others needed me near I’m through Yes yes! But what to do?! Two worlds now, are before me The one that I’ve been living in And one that smells of something new FamiliarI live in a world of money and fame Work for a dime or eat for shame Whichever Programmed people, little lies ‘Be a good girl’ With a fuck me sign Pre-set values of cold elation Menial metal occupation I’m sick of it! Some times I just want to stop and stare Odd At the strange things that people do Work Not for food or house, But money What’s the difference? Money spent on happiness Wealth Fun little games, little kids, brains What? I’m not sure what the point is Like What is happy anyway? I don’t get it? What’s not to get Happy It doesn't makes sense Are you sad? No Denial Yeah See What Better? You ? Denial …. I’m not sure how to explain What it is that you’re missing Me The other world Beyond your fadding sweets Money, wealth, knowledge Love (1001001) All the above Your money your house, your rule and your fame Power, praise, flesh and true love Are all Part of the same system Yes yes, let me take No $$$ Your mind works, on the same level as his And his and hers and it’s It?! Power is infectious, but you play the same games Never! The other place is truly something that is not bought ! Not eaten, injected or sought ? Not even taught / The world around us, Reality, true reality, More than human thought Symboless expression The antagonist of language What is it? With wonders unsought My time is done In this world’s machine One way or the other, It’s through I could stay here, But no Yes yes, I AM abandoning you I’m not sure where this path will lead A desert, a forest, a mountain, Asleep on the street I’m not sure And to be honest I don’t really care There’s a world out there That has more Or so I fear Than you, I think will ever know (See feel hear) #### I have to leave now, I’m sorry dear They’ll be here soon Thanks only thanks, for they set me free! And I can’t be near I love you I love you Plastic, steel, concrete, cash But I have another way To death ……………………………………… Infinity The perfect life Can be bought for free All you need, Is to give up all you’ve known Flee The hermit and the Fool Zero Nothing All must go Let your feet carry you where you must go Eyes open The beauty’s unsurpassable In a world once so drear All around, everywhere Who cares if you won’t last a year Live Love Death Peace…

Through Shattered Stain Glass Eyes

(Tribute) The cliffs are falling off the buildings The shadows flying through the wall The meanings have no feeling My feelings meaning all Time, now, past All Future Foreign What is it, That holds me here? That beckons from the past What is it that’s empty here The whole world made of glass: Is broken I lost something Some where, Oh you, you Yes you, Can you tell me where, These names are coming from For those faces, Of bodies I do not recall? People speak, From the past Reality, in broken glass While faces, facing me All stern, and sure and bathed in self-conceit One great eccentric comedy: I guess you missed the joke So sure, so real While I stand, heart in hand Bleeding on, your perfect rug, Of sanity, and function Of illusionary order Servants to, Their own mind’s disorder: Confined by refined I’m eating shards of broken glass Bleeding pictures of the past Of love, now past Pain, pain, PANG, the shattered glass All that’s left, is swore feet And a great big fucking mess The world broke, But not by fall of hammer, Nor a careless passing god The world ended, With a stain glass work of art, That was, ('Tis still, In past-present time!) The sum of all good parts, The art, it was not perfect, But the meaning was sublime, Though not by everyone excepted, It was my world, Is: In then-now space and time This masterful artwork, Off all crystals sublime, Had but one, most fatal flaw, It was not that of sprit, Nor a flaw in the form Each frame was perfect Each delicate arch: Perfecto There is-was a blemish, In that wonderful glass Which no eye could see As Long before, it’s time to fall The glass became brittle, Shattering, and shattering, For no reason at all: No, no, Not at all Slowly I watch As each panel broke, The greatest of things, All, of all things, In now (Only here) Fell to earth slowly, Shattered in ruins Nothing more, Than colors All spirit, all life Gone: Cold glass And so shattered the world, In this slow and unbearable agony I broke it my self, For it’s profanity: How could this happen? ………………………….. The greatest lesson, Ever taught, (Never taught) No one can ever write The greatest meaning, Ever sought, No once, can describe The greatest feeling, I now see: Through shattered stain glass eyes

In the Field

The water in the lake Disturbed by an intruder Is finally still The last breath of air Escapes from his lungs Time nearly standing still Falling down, The dim blue surface Of the twilight lake Fading with the pain Peacefully sinking The struggle and fear Memories of a time long past As he sinks in to the darker glass … In the fields they reap the wheat, With tools deadly and imposing, Tearing up, what they worked So hard to grow (And pray it’s not their feet) Dangerous and tiresome, But gives them what they eat A silent dance, But for the swish of blade, And fall of grain Allowing things to begin a new New plants, New problems, New food And a little more knowledge To help them too So it is, With life and death Always changing, The one are the two We grow, we mature And plant the seeds for new beginnings But for those seeds to sprout a new, WE must be reaped, So the next cycle has food …………………….. Knowledge

Lying By The Ocean

Lying Bye the Ocean Dark waves splash, On the gentle tide, I lay by the ocean at night At the moon beam Which lies on water I stair at an wonder About what could have been What could be ahead Of pretty faces Of lovely souls Times gone by, Love’s that’ve come and gone Of good days with good friends Bad days with good ends The crashing waves a mournful lullaby Of all the lovely days gone by Of You gone by Time behind And dice rolls forward Future nearly unthinkable In this clear, dark and lone Lovely night Laying by the ocean Lonely night Lying by the sea ………………….. Seeing your face Gone by Goodbye

"Right now"

Right now, Bleeding out, broken down Dieing like a pig, A child gurgles the anthem of the gunshot wound In blaze of passion, In the heart of love, A rapist is defiling a screaming victim Semen mix with tears, As the blood flows back in the siring A white orgasmic agony As the heroin goes in Amazing stars of heaven’s light Are in the eyes of many a split mind In the cold damp of their card bored paradise The shrink wrap of there hotel rooms long forgotten Or so the evil faces in the sewer say On a well made bead of leaves Malaria takes it’s toll, While we take OUR vaccines In OUR country OUR money OUR dreams Pop goes the rest of the world In a cold and disturbed dream, A child wakes from her bed Dreaming of the distant screams Of the needless human dead Right now A bomb is made Right now, a child is saved Right now A bomb is made Right now, a child is saved Right now A bomb is made Right now Two-hundred thousand down the drain Right now A child fades away Not enough money to buy food Right now, A Criminal makes millions on cocaine Guns, funds, prostitution All those lovely escapades Right now, Someone is in prison While at the store, They killed someone In a bar, Justice severed Life in prison Right now Needs to change But can time, Ever change? ……………………………. Can humans, Ever become humane?

The Maiden Death

As the word begins to fade My exist finally, Flickering out I don’t see a light Or even a tunnel How odd, Was that not, What I was, to expect? No love lights or demons, Just a dark and open space I squint with virgin soul eyes Into a vast, cavern of black And slowly as, the brutish visage Of the mortal world fades from mind The pupils of my spirit, Open to this revelating gloom In that blackest brightness, I glimpse at the all seeing My cavern black is a light, With countless stars unnamed Each one, I see A tiny, tiny, point of light Tiny, but unblemished Perfect all the same One small star For ever life In the universe's tapestry One perfect point, Of supreme delight Yet inside a flame with agonies As I gaze, upon this seen, The perfect balance of my former realm And all it's lovely stars of life A figure slim and slight, Is slowly walking towards me Of course by then I realized, Gazing upon this little universe of stars That she was always, Yes she, in form and face Was always, walking towards me With a slow, And steady pace Now that she is nearing me, I can not help but smile Her face is young, Full and sweet Her eyes are old, Ageless if you will Two fully and lonely orbs Which speak of only love Not happy in the way I prattled, When I was but a Star But her eyes, Glow with love, And an everlasting tear The happy grief, Of kinship Two souls as one, But for a moment, Then it’s gone She walks to me, And with a small, yet beaming smile Which touches to the soul She gently takes my hand And tells me, “To let go, “It’s time for us to leave this realm, (Queer mortals call the Universe!) There’re other things, other beings And other stars you’re meant to see Come, my dear, my love, it's time again, I set you free,” She gently pulls Me With a lithe, and alabaster hand Through My cavern of space and stars In to a different realm, And then, again Into a next A again and again, She saves me, Loves, Throws free Into a different place Existence, space But always, As those little plains, Dimensions, realms Begin to fade, I see her walking With a slow and steady pace, To help and love, To know an pain Again …………………….. For the one who’s always there for me, To helps me when life fades… The Maiden Death

Di-faced

Two soldiers Two faces Both marching on crimson tides Bearing flags of woe With different colored strips One black, One white Two sides of the same coin Madness in either eye A soul caught, In the middle Of a battle Raging beyond the sky Beyond reach In one is a face of hope, Tempered by tarring pain A goodly hero, A saintly lord Who suffers pangs, Constant agony Rejected, repulsed But yet, struggling on A martyr, No one will miss nor praise, For his greatest deed, Is bearing through the pain, So the ungrateful will feel no shame You can’t complain! Another a the face of despair The darkness closing in A selfish thing, An evil being, Caring only for his own dismays Why should he, Bear through to save the others pain? How could you leave! Once love, Now hate, shame Two faces, Whose ways there are four A yin and a yang, But good for bad, Aren’t equally exchanged Cynic facets Who mock with promise, Equaled by pain. You’re offered hope, With nothing but anguish to gain ………………………… Between a knife and a hard place, Can you find, Your own face?

Leaking

I’m leaking From my spirit, My soul I’m degrading Deflating With ever tick of the tiny hand The larger one imposing I’m leaking, t Time’s slipping away Flowing faster away Slower to pay My vision is dripping away A-blotching with grey Out lined by black My night turns into day And then turns back My fears are sliding away A coma of a sort My tears are flowing away Though they’re muse is burning away I’m leaking From my body, my blood Flows outwards to form Deep, dark pools of mud Commingled with tears A mud that is earthen Almost is red But your mistaken It is not blood, For no blood may I shed I’m distraught and I’m worthless A demon accursed And I’m done with the walking Your damnable talking A single loud sound A bullet and round Or was it a blade? A slash and a shave? Was it a needle, Whose contents bare, This pain I can feel? I do not remember The clock is calling I’m leaking I’m leaking I’m thinking… My death No Twas thinking life, Leaking life It’s al-ive known Until we’ve seen beyond the veil… Everything’s life Even death ............. Especially Death

The Priestess of Apathy

Watching through tear drops Loving through hellish times A heart who loves for a moment In a life of heart break sublime Another tear Wells in her eyes Another fear Surmounts to surprise Another pain Pangs through her body Another demon Enters her mind Let me be there with you Let me hold you tight Allow you’re self Just one happy night She walks in isolation A lone figure in the field She lives a cold lamenttion A destitute divine Don’t run when I take your hand Won’t cry when I make you laugh Don't make your world so sad Please, don’t make life so hard Even for me, It’s hard enough She is the timeless priestess Her sorrow is serene Her life has been a horror All good things struck away She’s stricken by the loss Of all the love That’s washed away All the hope, That's gone away …………………….. The only thing safe Is apathy

The Priestess of Apathy Watching through tear drops Loving through hellish times A heart who loves for a moment In a life of heart break sublime Another tear Wells in her eyes Another fear Surmounts to surprise Another pain Pangs through her body Another demon Enters her mind Let me be there with you Let me hold you tight Allow you’re self Just one happy night She walks in isolation A lone figure in the field She lives a cold lamenttion A destitute divine Don’t run when I take your hand Won’t cry when I make you laugh Don't make your world so sad Please, don’t make life so hard Even for me, It’s hard enough She is the timeless priestess Her sorrow is serene Her life has been a horror All good things struck away She’s stricken by the loss Of all the love That’s washed away All the hope, That's gone away …………………….. The only thing safe Is apathy

Lost To Time

I see a face I’d lost to time A lover place I never could fine A replacement for you Another like you Though, I looked all the time I thought, I hated I thought, I loved And most of all I lost The only one who mattered Matters all the time

The Island’s Shores

Turing around In a world all of your own A purgatory of sleepless sweat Insomnia at it’s worst You have the want, the will To sleep, to rest But your mind can not be but to rest The girl who died, the love gone bye Suddenly, you are unrest All you can think of Her face, her hands, the places Where you met, where you loved Those you’ll always remember And you should probably forget Thing of her lips, her eyes, her hands Wanting to forget, wanting to hold on Knowing you need sleep But your mind's begging to go on Thoughts of love, Feelings of grief Memories of joy Eyes of sadness A lovely voice Becoming your madness …………………… The love that has gone; The lives that have gone

Unanimous

In a house you can’t escape A prison with no bars No guards A sealed fate The locks are unbreakable It’s inmates are insatiable There is no end, escape You’re here until your sentence is due OK, you fuck, ‘till then you do what we tell you to! You can not get out of it They’ll get their due Used and abused Unlucky, unknown Unable, to get a call back home A defeated duress An iron caress And you You are the judge, The lawyer, the jury You have the sentence And now your are serving ……………………………… When the mind is a prison And the torture is too great… Give up?

Strange lines: Rant

Lives are strange things We are characters in others dreams Have you ever forgotten your place? Lost your lines, forgot to feed The other dreamers needs? All of this is a fucked up story, Some things are hard Especially the easy When you play your part A screwy roll from a distasteful start We’re like the number at the bottom of this screen Characters counted, then disposed Just as clean What I want, Think, hear, need Quiet, thought, peace Love, blood, reprieve Ever think time has moved back? Not literally, but it’s feels like no time has passed A smoke behind that place you used to go A handshake from some one you used to know The sweat of some one you shared in bliss Those places you thought you’d never miss Come back and it’s strange, The whole fucking world, Gets rearranged You know it’s gone, But good or ill You're overwhelmed with what time has done still What do we want? What the fuck does “happy” mean It’s all well and good, For the time being So what’s the state? It’s over all, stupendo Things suck now But when they're better you’ll transcendo This isn’t a feeling, It’s a convenient denial of our complex states of being It’s fucking lazy, “but I’m happy” You see! ‘Can’t take the time, You don’t’ even feel the need We’re wasted on words Drowned in our own explanations “Just be a good boy” I think I would need… “Here’s how to think boy” To find my own needs… “This is happy, you do this, yes, ci?” How am I “happy” when you control how I think? Why do I need, we need To do, to think, to think, to feel, to say Everything your way? Killing is a waist of living, Hate is a waist of time, Fuck it, killing is fine, If you’re wasting My time my money my time My life, my body my mind My love my feelings my joy Torture is a waist of killing, And you’re taking, My health my freedom my rights I don’t care what you say But what you fucking do, Is fucking up our time! Stop with the bullshit Stop with lies Stop throwing so much money To make your self right ………………….. Give it a rest, We’d all be better, With less conflicts Then maybe we could make some changes Lets not digress

Random Structure Experiment

You’re obliterating customs Obliterating life Taking all they can find Take it all and let them rot! Are such lessons truly self taught? Are we beings so distraught? You attack so they can’t function Beat them in their strife Get to the body by destroying the mind Kill them all! Let them be taught! How low will you fall? When will we lose it all? But you can’t always attack, Some times the helpless fight back, Take our gold, our souls then Jack Retreat, retreat! We caught on, Now it’s your defeat

The Poppies Womb

I don’t have, A bed of roses I gave mine up, So long ago I don’t have a bed of roses I sleep but where The sun shines brief And moon throws daggers in the air But I won’t care In my poppy woven womb There was a time I slept like thee On that bed, painful yet sweet Pain and pleasure Can be clearly seen With thorns, perfectly clear Painful and near, Physical, predicable And yet, despicable Those gashing thorns The beauty too, the joy Unmistakable, unmisplacable, defaceable Constant in its gain No evil will it take, No sorrow can it make Just bouncing joy However brief) No fool mistakes it for the thorn I slept in that bed for a time So long ago, it seems) But I found, No pedals to hold, No flowers would bloom Thorns abound All around In dark despair At my lack (Lo! Of vision!) Of peace among the thorns I found another flower Devoid of point an thorn As beautiful, no more,(and No more!) Than the roes, Which I could see no more I found it in a rapture It wrapped me in its womb An untainted, untouchable pasture Where I could watch the world fall faster Never caring, sharing, in it’s doom I fell into, This thornless flower Unblemished bud Fell into its arms Fell to my knees Fell for its charms For it’s fruit That gave me All I could need— Unsharing! Uncaring! Unthinking! At ease! Give me more, If you’d please As I slept Inside it’s womb however As I grew more aware And accustomed to My eyes began to open And my mind began to see The vile blanket It had wrapped, surrounding me Paved with trash of the living Scented with the remains of the dead Walled by insect built cities Mauled by destruction, By the those who wanted it's (former) peace On seeing this grave dysfunction I retreated further still Into the womb, once so safe so sweet But as we all know The a reluctant birth Always ends in defeat Time won’t cheated Death isn’t cheap The devil digs your pockets deep The flowers will take their due Ten fold for what they gave to you You took from them, Now they’ll devour you While you wait patently For just another taste Of their now, so feeling brew You’ll wait with out promise Wait in despair As they tear at your heart Devour your mind And shatter your soul You’ll beg for caress While she excavates you You’ll withstand a painful duress, So He’ll violate you! You can not expcape it Though you surly can run You can not remake it Their work is done You can not replace it, They are all, and all are one All you can do, All you’ll go through On the run Is bide your time While their still in thine eye (Are thine eyes!) Till you’re world is done …………………… Parlay any one?

Popcorn

Sweet and dull Yet unmistakable How such a simple sent, Can make me so recall, I do not know But I recall the theaters of youth Why should a cinema bring me to this? I hear the laughs of adolescent girls The sneer and glee The dreams of what is, Attractions to what ot’ a be Playing it cool, Searching for meaning with out meaning to! The confusion of young movie dates The two sides, Opposite in thought But in action they are one How the fuck can that work? People so confused Granted they be young But, as they grow They learn new shit in which to muse I see so many things, In this simple thing Faces from my past People I’ve known Faces I’ve seen Hearts I’ve seen broken And mended again (and again) What is the worst, That this might be, All of humanities curse All of lives, wandering round Doing our best, to keep thought on the ground Screaming for what we want at the top of our lungs And Always sing the same old song All ways getting the same old wrong ………………………… Never knowing It’s all our wrong

Eulogy of the Flame

At the last the candle spoke As the flame shuddered, died Its tale was a sad one As all are when one dies It spoke of early years Of the reclusive and secure Of fantasies of valor and pride, Of foolish hopes, and happy skies It told of teenage years, Which for it were sure not drear Of games played in circles, Of fuck, tag, and lash “Certainty and love unmatched!” The flame spoke of mild times, Middle aged, middle lives Marriage and kids Work and money The whole world, Never feeling, Never funny Alas, alas there came the later years With all the world steeped in gray The flame grew weary, Uncaring for the night and day At his death, The flame had only one regret, (A one, A One, infinity!) In all his time, He new not once, More than his meager eyes …………………………… The dead do not requiem, Nor need they to repine For all is clear Now in their eyes